people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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