She's JV to your varsity
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
