Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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