dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
