ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
