I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
The struggles of a small town man whore
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
