why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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