Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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