She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
