the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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