She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
