it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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