I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
