I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
