Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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