can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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