I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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