there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
