I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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