They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Randomize
