so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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