There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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