Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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