Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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