So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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