he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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