Define "chronic" masturbator.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
