what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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