one two three fourrrrnication!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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