I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
