Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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