is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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