I'm laying in your front yard are you home
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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