i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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