do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
two words...techno handjob
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
