remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize