I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
