therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Welp...herpes.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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