I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Im part way to drunk.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
