Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
