That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize