Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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