Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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