haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You pole danced in your parka.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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