Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
