Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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