My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
