big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
