I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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