the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
