I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
