My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
