So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
