I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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