what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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