I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
