THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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