she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It's rum buckets o'clock
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
