So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
