You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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