So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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